For the Love of Husbands

That’s me above. Pre-Mrs. There’s a lot of things I didn’t know about marriage when I had that dress on, 6 months before the wedding…now about 3 years ago. This included the {obligation of} participating in events my hubby wanted to do. Things you do only because you love a person. Here’s the first example of that (4 months post-wedding)…

Fishing. Don’t let that smile fool you. I really didn’t enjoy this little 6am cruise on the lake. Swore up and down that I did it once for him and wouldn’t do it again. I went again the next year.
Last year I did the St. Louis Adventure Race with Mat and his friends. Unlike fishing I was kinda looking forward to it because they told me it was going to be like The Amazing Race. Except instead of getting on airplanes you get on a bike. And instead of taxi cabs driven by foreign men you run. Yeah, good thing love is strong. Here is an email I sent my friends after the {Not-so} Amazing Race was finished….
Well let me tell you…this thing was ridiculous. I thought, well this will be fun and maybe after we’re done Mat and I will decide to buy some bikes and have a family activity we can do together. It starts by the teams getting a word scramble that a fifth grader could complete. In fact a table next to us has a fifth grader on his parents team. Luckily we beat them and get our first “clue”. Its time to go biking from Queeny Park to Longview park on Clayon/Mason Rd. We’re city folks and I haven’t been in Queeny Park since I graduated high school. We take the long way out of the park to the next park only to find out later we could have cut through Queeny and saved about 20 minutes of torture. Torture bc it was all uphill and I couldn’t figure out to get out of the highest gear on the bike I borrowed. I swear I rode 10 miles. It was probably closer to 2.5 but uphill should count for something. We get to this park and there isn’t even a “challenge” you just have to find the hole-punch and punch a hole in this “passport” you’ve been given.We continue on via Clayton Rd. and then the outer road of Hwy 270. I thought I was in Colorado riding the mountains. At this point I decide I hate bike riding and we didn’t need a family activity anyways. We get to the Lodge and our “challenge” was to go to the pool and find the duck with your team number on it. Oh yeah, you’re envisioning an Olympic pool with thousands of ducks aren’t you? Nope, its a baby pool that had 50 ducks all in one corner. We find the duck in 2 minutes. Shoot. Gotta get back on the stupid bike. We have to head back to Queeny. Back through the mountains. We think we’re at least smart enough to go down Mason Rd. and enter through the back of the park. Mason was built before they invented straight lines or shoulders. I curse myself for being one of those bikers that is slowing up traffic. On Mason, Twiddle-dee and Twiddle-dumb get a little too excited on their bikes. Mark gets too close to the edge and his bike slips…knocking into Mat’s bike! I hop off my bike to stop traffic. No traffic. Thank god. They get up, everyone is fine. The bikes? Not fine. Mat’s tire is blown and Marks is crooked. They walk their bikes back to “home base”. On our walk we pass the Matt & Erin Stack and Sluhan team that we were doing this with. They laugh as they run by us. We get our next clue to go to the tennis courts. We run around a big loop and end up by the tennis courts…on the other side of homebase. I channel Usane Bolt as we continue our trail run. And continue and continue. We get hole-punches by just finding a trees. Hardly a challenge. Where are the donkeys like in the real Amazing Race? We pass the Stack team running in the opposite direction. Turns out that a tree amongst a sea of other trees didn’t jump out at them and they ran 30 min. past it! We join forces and become one team. Our next “challenge” is to row a canoe 20 feet to get another hole punch. Mat rows, I sit. Its our first canoe ride in a willow pond. It is not romantic. We are almost finished. The boys get a flash of energy and we continue running. God help us. We basically have to re-trace our steps back and we end up back at home base. We pass our last hole-punch that was hanging on a map. We have to head back. 4 teams pass us. Mark runs up ahead, gets the punch and comes back. On his way he yells to me to “start running, Kim! Start running!!!” We sprint back to the finish line. Hardly a finish line as we weave through people getting water and food. Mark declares he thinks we’re in the top 10. Erin and I think otherwise since people in their cars were leaving by the time we got there. We see a person with the silver metal, their time was 50 minutes before ours! I see the fifth grader again, leisurely eating an apple. He too has a medal around his neck. No medals for us. Not even a donkey ride. I do have a very sore rear-end and thighs though….

I should have re-read that email before Schmoopy signed us up again this year. One word: Dread. The saying shouldn’t be “For the Love of God”, its “For the Love of Husbands”

UPDATE: We completed the 2009 Adventure Race and did MUCH better than the previous year…third or fourth place I believe. Regardless, I am officially retired from Adventure Racing.

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