Schmoopy took me to the Cardinal’s game the other night. A man had just escaped from his IT department, bought a bag of peanuts, headed to the ballpark, and took a seat next to me. He then proceeded to complete his daily pilates routine and continuously stretched his tube-socked, black-sneakered leg out in front of me. We’re both lucky I wasn’t in front and below him at any point during the game. Woof.